On a superficial level, theists seem to have a better death story. 

A loved one dies and believers are told they are going to heaven (or whatever your religion calls it).  And then when we die, if we meet the appropriate entry requirements, we will also go to heaven where we can be with our deceased loved one.  It is a thought that has given comfort to the bereaved for thousands of years.

And atheists, what do they offer?  Your loved one dies and that's it.  Dead and gone!  Ashes to Ashes. No  happy reunion in heaven.  Sounds kind of miserable and pointless???

But let's reconsider. 

First, the atheist.  There is no delusion about a future post-death meeting in a non-existent place beyond the clouds with angels playing harps.  Instead, the deceased is accessible anytime you wish to think about them - kind of like an on-demand button on  a remote control.  Not as some mystical ill-defined spirit, but as the thoughts and recollections in your head, with which your mind can wander wherever it will.   I still remember my dad, 25 years after his passing, and the thoughts continue to fill me with warmth.  

And what about when we die.   I just hope that I touch enough people positively while I live that some people will recall me warmly when I am gone.  There is no delusion of immortality, but there is a hope that memories of me and the things I have done will persist at least a few more years.   I don't live my life trying to please a vengeful god, hoping to earn enough good god-points to get into heaven and fearing the consequences if I don't.  Nor do I have the self-righteousness coming from "knowing that I am saved".  Rather, I try to lead a relatively simple life where I hope to leave things a little better than how I found them.  Pretty easy to understand and no hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo.

And the theist?  They are taught that a life is fleeting and the best stuff happens after death, provided enough good god-points have accrued.  And woe if you do not have enough!  So, you look forward to death, but if you try to rush to the goal line to be with god by taking your earthly life, that act earns you demerits and you go to hell, unless you kill infidels in the process, which is considered a good thing? But god already knows whether you are going to heaven or hell at the beginning of time, so why do we live?  Certainly so we can serve and praise god. But if he is all powerful, why does he need servants and praise (and financial donations and tax exemptions).  I have trouble understanding the theistic logic so forgive me if I get it wrong, but it sounds kind of miserable and pointless!

Recently, I heard about the death of a father of a PFC friend and I wanted to offer a note of condolence.  I had never met the father and did not even know the name, so was initially at a loss for what to write.   I googled condolences and many mentioned prayers, souls, spirits, "may god grant", and so forth, which clearly would not work.  Standard condolence notes also tend to ignore the sometimes complicated relationships within families, particularly those in which one person is religious and the other is secular.  Below is an excerpt of the message I sent.  Perhaps it may  give ideas to other who face a similar quandary of wanting to send condolences, but not sure what to say.  

My sincere condolences go out to you for the loss of your father. I hope you may have continued comfort in remembering the times you shared together. My father passed away in 1997 and I can say for me that as time passes, the memories may grow a little fainter but they also grow warmer. Unpleasantries slowly fade into insignificance. Also, as you hear in the future of deaths of the fathers of other relatives and colleagues, I hope that you will use those opportunities to remember your father and shared experiences with him.